when our kite lines first crossed we tied them into knots

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 12:14:52 GMT

friends only.

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 02:30:20 GMT

I totally need a bicycle boyfriend.

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:29:54 GMT

look who i found...

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:48:53 GMT

no sleep till california!

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 20:09:46 GMT

Q: Will peanut butter and jelly (PB&J, preferably with banananana and honey) or Newman's O's ever stop being delicious?

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 16:08:19 GMT

Official pre-race song. rawr.

edit:

play-list for today:

Rebel Girl - Bikini Kill
Go Home, Get Down - DFA1979
Shine A Light - Wolf Parade
Don't Care About - The Wipers
S.T.H.D. - Ladyhawk
Trooper - Iron Maiden
I want a new drug - Huey Lewis
MC5 - American Rules
The Space Jams soundtrack.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:29:50 GMT

if anyone has time to read this and also has a fixed account...let me know what you think...the last guys comment is totally insulting...gett me riled up!

http://flfixed.com/comments.php?DiscussionID=1201&page=2#Item_22

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:08:38 GMT

First road race tomorrow....NERVOUS.

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:06:19 GMT

Things:

Feeling way better about my trip to California...hoping to spend a lot of time really seeing everything there is to see in San Francisco

I think my bike gets hit on more than I do when I bring it to school. It makes me laugh.

I had an amazing interaction with perfect strangers the other day. I was studying in Ybor (yeah, yeah, Ybor City...) and these two older men were sitting near me and one asked what I was studying (which, if you know me, is the best question to ask)

I replied that I was reading an article on Drag Performance, pertaining specifically to Drag Kings for my Queer Theory class (which I need to copy for you David J. It was really good).

Instead of getting puzzled looks or shrugged off, both of them chimed in (and both were very straight men, mind you) about gender construction/performativity, etc. It was AMAZING.

Then we got started talking about why nothing is definite because of different cultures and also about our racist issues when one of them said he goes to Ethiopia all the time. When I asked why he said it was because he just opened an orphanage there and plans on opening 100 centers just like it in the country. The other does similar humanitarian work.

I told them about the dorky bike co-op, but they were so excited for me. I handed them a flyer and he gave me the name of his organization. All we talked about was how local grassroots work was so important. The guy with the orphanage makes sure that only Ethiopian people are involved...he just provides the organization skills and the money. One of the guys even hugged me at our departure. This was one of the first totally non-creepy older-dude interaction I've had. They were completely respectful, understanding and listened to me and I them...

It was fantastically refreshing. Who knows if they were just playing like the guys from Wedding Crashers...it was awesome.

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:36:31 GMT

also,

Dear Carson,

This reminded me of you today.

Love,
Lily

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:34:03 GMT

i have been dwelling on the second floor of the USF library for days now. i love it. sooooo quiet. -sanctuary!!!-

on feelings

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 17:09:11 GMT

Lately, I have been at war with a ton of things in my life. Between gender benders, getting into the flow of school, and warding off loneliness tied with notions of abandonment, I am left tired quite a bit. I sleep early and I never sleep in. When I'm out at night, I only look forward to the rest I will recieve in a few hours.

I am constantly re-evaluating my emotions...discouraging myself to feel certain ways...keeping positives in focus. I am reading bell hooks' book "All About Love" again and it's just as amazing and enlightening as before. I am seeing things in it that I didn't last time. It always helps me through any emotional vulnerability I may feel.

I'm healing really nicely. I feel healthier every day. Where I used to make resolutions about my body, I now make them toward building healthy relationship(s) with everyone. I put my best face forward when meeting new people and I try not to feel obligated to make all the bike rides that consume my week nights (like a show on Tuesday instead of the tuff ride). I want to be supportive and therefore supported.

The camp fire at Dixon was super nice the other night. I'm worried about what those boys are going to do. I wish we hung out more (JOEY D). My lease is up in Feb and I might be moving into The Giddy Up! house (which would be amazing) or getting a place on my own in the Heights somewhere.

I'm still so tired though...but it could just be my monthly + being sick. So much reading to do...

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 04:49:11 GMT

I rode 105 miles today and 4 hours later played a show.

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:49:50 GMT

What is it about the weather that changes everyone so? It's been amazingly beautiful the past few days. Something about the seasons changing always makes me so nostalgic. I get so stuck on thoughts of past lovers and past places sometimes. I can't wait for the smell of camp fires and snuggly hoodies and other snuggly things.

It'll be my first real cold season on a bike...I wonder how I'm going to take my lungs exploding and my eyes watering out of control.

Critical Mass tomorrow! You should come! 7pm...lowrey park. Mass up.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 21:47:02 GMT

After a few dreadful loner-ly whiney nights, I currently am starting to get back to me. I just had this amazing conversation with a fellow female cyclist who is ALSO going to be the co-ops lawyer for right now. My heart feels so full...it's great. Finally had a good day at school and got my brain juices flowing.

We talked a lot about privilege today in more than one of my classes. The way some of my professors went about it made me really uncomforatble. One of them actually segregated us into groups based on either our race, class, or apparent sex. It was really weird and I don't think it made for a healthy environment.

More on this later...I gottttaa rideeee.

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 02:44:41 GMT

Words cannot describe
The twinkle in your eyes
The fireworks that happen
Inside my heart they're snappin'
I'm wishin' on a star to be with you

On a still day, I am the wind.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 04:41:19 GMT

Sorry this has become nothing but rants about my bike and my fucking gender, but the sport is slowly taking my life over as is my major and I'm used to dwelling within the male dominated, but less noticeable world of punk rock.

Race today. I'm doing a lot better at races. It feels good. I'm fairly tired right now but want to get this out before I rest.

I feel like so much of what is discouraging about getting womyn to ride, participate in events, or really try to be competitive is how so many men act. I heard a ridiculous amount of outright sexist comments that were just thrown around today like it was no big deal. Derogatory bullshit referring to girls and their periods, etc. Even silly ones like "he plays like a girl" got so annoying...especially when there was a girl on the polo field dominating it today.

We think that these are easily shrugged off and ignored, but it is this kind of language that dominates and plagues our society and is the reason why so many people (not just womyn) are oppressed today.

What does it say that womyn statistically only make up about 10 to 20 percent of our competitive sports teams in America? It can't be simply that girls just don't like to do it as much as boys. We are socialized to be less dominant...the weaker sex. It is ridiculous that I get made fun of for being competitive or aggressive when men act that way and it is treated as far more acceptable.

That being said: I am extremely, extremely grateful for those that I acquaint myself with in the Bay Area. I can without a doubt say that the people around here are a great support system and always encouraging me to get into the field a lot more.

I feel like bringing these issues up on the boards, but I also feel like no one gives a rats ass, and the attitude will be "well, that's just the way things are..."

Just emailed to my women and comm professor...

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:55:12 GMT

Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think that it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world. It gives women a feeling of freedom and self-reliance. I stand and rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a wheel... the picture of free, untrammeled womanhood. – Susan B. Anthony

Professor Silverman,

I know you do not think cycling is a feminist related activity or that the things I do within this community are really as powerful as something that is directly related to feminist causes.

It is hard for me to participate in all of the clubs and activities that are directly related to feminism on campus because I really feel for the most part, a lot of these clubs that say they are doing “activism” will never be a part of something bigger. Some of them are extremely cliquey and are based on hierarchical structures of power that I don’t agree with. To me, doing something in my community, not just on campus is actually helping more people than just those that attend the university.

I understand that you want us to do new projects in this class, but last semester I already decided that almost everything I do must be worth something to me or my community in some way. To me, even riding my bike has a feminist meaning, especially when I am one of two females on the USF cycling team, or when I fly past a male during a sprint race.

I was never encouraged to be athletic or do sports when I was young. I have only been on a bike seriously for six months and it has literally already taken me all over the country. Being involved with a competitive sport has made me stronger and more aggressive in more ways than one. I am completely aware of the male dominance and homophobia that abounds in my sport, and fight against it every time I saddle up. I always try and get girls to start riding because it’s so liberating. I strive not to be “fast for a girl” but just “fast”.

The newest activity that I just signed up for last week is a 165 mile ride from Miami to Key West in two days. I have to raise over $1,200 which will benefit HIV/AIDS funding. I not only have to train physically for this ride but mentally. I think that by doing this ride, I will be breaking personal barriers as well as those of my gender. I plan on going from class to class asking for pledges and reaching out to others in my community.

I wouldn’t mind keeping a diary of some sort on my ventures and how I’m feeling while training in a mostly male dominated sport. I could also physically log hours.

Let me know if this is an okay activism project or what you would like me to do otherwise.

http://www.thesmartride.org

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~UG02/hendrick/women.html

http://nicomachus.net/2008/03/the-outspokin-cyclist-womens-liberation-through-bicycling/

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/05/20/women.bicycling/index.html

-Lily Richeson

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:16:04 GMT

Today I joined the Southern Most AIDS/HIV Ride 5, "The SMART Ride". It's 162 miles in two days from Miami to Ft. Lauderdale. I'm doing it with a few friends...it should be awesome!

If anyone wants to pledge for me that would be great. The website is www.thesmartride.org

Click pledge and type in my rider number (403) or my name Lily Richeson. Any amount helps and it goes to a great cause.

In other news...got tickets for San Fran to see Dave. Stoked to see him and totally nervous at the same time.
School is going better...I need to kick it into high gear...I'm falling behind.
Training for the cycling team starts in October but I've been riding 5-6 times a week.
Kicked it in Atlanta.
Rad show with holopaw and liza kate on the 28th...should be rad...been bummed on my music lately. This could be what Carson was going through a few years ago. I can't write.

rolling stones make for bare bones

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:49:01 GMT

Summer flew, it really did.

I feel like I'm saying goodbye to more and more people lately. Friends getting laid off left and right - changing schools, falling in love. I keep inheriting all their old stuff. Parts of my friends old houses laying in the corners of my room. It makes me sad. On the plus, rad stuff keeps piling up.

It's been really hard to repair this heart of mine. I'm closing myself up again. I sort of try to hang out with the girls in my major which is nice, but all they really talk about is lesbian drama...I swear to god.

Lonely is such a sick word! I hate to admit that I feel such a thing. I am so wrapped up in so many projects, and papers I keep putting off...I should have no time for lonely. I should go out more and meet new people (maybe even boys).

Lately I've really felt like I should live in a more enlightened place. Just sitting in a few classes today made me so bored. No one knows the term 'gay shame' here and if I brought it up I'm sure I'd be seen as radical, or an asshole. I hate that my political beliefs are deemed so bizarre and impossible at USF. Sitting in class with a handful of people that don't even know what the word feminist means yet is ridiculously frustrating and slows down the learning process of people that are far more advanced in my major.

It was really nice having Dave around. The longer he is gone the more I realize how much of a friend he was. We just understood each other when it came to so much bullshit around here. This place was far more live-able.

Hopefully Atlanta will be fun. Operation get the fuck out of here is in full effect.

siq

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:55:00 GMT

It is in these quiet moments - rare though they are - that I realize I am changed. No longer this solid wall of bitter mess - strong to spite - I feel different. It is more than feeling weak - it is not exactly feeling lost - it is wanting a partner and missing the one I had. Missing missing missing. I hate it.

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:52:16 GMT

Weirdo....

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:54:24 GMT

usf cycling team?

why yes.

doing shit.

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:59:37 GMT

I had to work on my resume today...it made me think of all the crap I involve myself in that I don't have time for.

Inertia! - Not only do I have to manage this band all by myself (recording, releasing, booking,making shirts, merch, writing songs, begging artists for designs) I dog my sister constantly about remembering to practice. Unfortunately, as of this summer Inertia! has been neglegted. We haven't played out of town in forever, I haven't been hanging out at shows as much, and I feel like I've lost a lot of connections with the Florida DIY scene. I haven't written a song in awhile and don't know if I should just end Inertia! or not. I applied for Fest last night along with some other mini folk fest in St. Pete...kinda working on the album, but kinda haven't given a second thought to it at all. I kind of want to release a tape and do a small run of CDs. I really want to tour, but have no one to go with. Inertia! and music used to be the only thing I identified with and I see that slowly changing...not sure if I like it.

Tampa Bike Co-Op -The cooperative was not supposed to be my baby, but it is quickly turning into something I've thrown myself into. I just had an hour long conversation with someone that is helping step it up to the plate. The next meeting is going to mean crucial organizing and planning for the co-op's future. It is going to involve a lot more people and networking with bike shops. It's going to involve me writing a mission statement soon and really having a list of goals. This is going to take a lot of my time and energy and for some reason, is something that I won't let fail.

Zine Distro - I want to eventually work on this more when other things like the co-op get under control. I have a great collection under my belt and ideas for more zines that I want on the table but have no time to set up at shows right now or ask around for zines. I'm going to try and set up at least once a month.

Photography - Something I picked up and am enjoying for the most part. I like hiding behind my camera quite a bit. www.flickr.com/inertialily I wish it was something I had more time for...I want to get better.

Bicycle - Tuesday ride, Wednesday ride, Thursday ride - I love racing bikes, but I think I might stop just because I really am having a tough time fitting in with the community. I guess I feel like a part of me will not give in to bike fixed gear culture (i don't ride fixed, duh). There are so many things I stand for politically and the scene can feel really negative and trivial at times (as all scenes do). I wish I had more women that I could identify with in this scene, but that's the way of Tampa...no radical girls. That is not to say that I do not ADORE my bicycle. I like the act of riding and it gave me a great sense of empowerment this year. I love group rides and rides that make you stronger. I am in better shape than I've been in years and love love love riding. I feel weird when I don't ride my bike for a day. I really like taking pictures of my friends on their bikes, and the events that are thrown, but there are more important things I need to focus on again. I wish I could take up the sport of cycling, but its hard when my age group and things I'm into revolve around the fixed scene. Again, something I wish I had more time for.

Volunteering for Ophelia Project - They are really interested in me and even offered me an application for the Young Women's Leadership Board. The Ophelia Project is an organization that helps girls and young women build their self-esteem through different programs. This is important to me because low self worth and self image took me years and years to get through, and for many young girls my age, it was even worse. Lots of women still struggle with it as they get older.

Starting internship at Creative Loafing - I don't even know if I should take this at this point. I was so geared to be a journalist and love writing/blogging but my passion doesn't lay there. I think it would look really good on my resume though and probably help me gain some knowledge of the field...and there is always networking.

Classes starting soon - All my classes are going to RULE this semester. I just wonder if everything else is going to fall to the wayside because of them - - or if my grades will drop because I'm taking on too much. I got my scholership back this year though which is something I'm really proud of. I love getting awesome grades.

I want to learn another language this year
I wish I had time to take yoga
Shit, I need a job again
What am I going to do after I graduate? Should I start worrying about grad school?
I want to go overseas
I'm going to New York in a few weeks

Not to mention all my personal shit...love, friends, family...

Yet I am not tired. In fact I love being busy. At times though, I feel like I'm having a bit of an identity crisis.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 23:14:49 GMT

I'm finally out of this bout of -ew im sad all the time- thing.

Tonight as a wonderful suprise is my last night at work. I've felt really good about myself again, and I think quitting was a big step.

I had an amazing interview today with an all female owned and operated gardening company. I get to plant things and be outside all day. If things go right, I start monday.

The Spring is interested in allowing me to take on some volunteer work as a receptionist, which I'm still trying to fit into my schedule and figure out just what I'll be doing. I really want to get in there and see what my field of work is all about.

Finally started a new song. Still don't feel great about inertia, but I'm trying to figure it out a bit here and there.

I cleaned out my room. Didn't get rid of a lot, but enough to feel better. Jen/Albina/Stephanie if you want my junk hollar at me. Maybe we can go swim and I can give you all of it.

I have finally felt a weight lifted. It isn't a weight a single person put there but me. I feel like I am realizing this too late for a lot of friendships to form. Ones that I let pass me by. Ones that I threw away. I think the next weight I'll be trying to lift is one of nostalgia.Though moving on, or at least realizing I have to and that other people have is great, missing missing missing is always the toughest burdon to beat.